Sunday, July 25, 2004

who took my weekend?

     Someone stole my weekend, and I think I know who.  That little punk Festivus.  Sundays are so melancholy for me, and its even worse today because the weekend feels like it was cut a day short because I was guilted into the funfest eastman concert crap.  Believe me when I say I do not like to go sit, stand or anything else in front of J Fred Johnson stadium with about 2.8 billion strangers.  Factor in keeping up with three small children, spending outrageous sums of money to buy food from a tent(which one can buy any other time of year from said proprietors making a killing from said tents).   I was also irked by the 5.00 admission price to see washed up performers.  That brings me to the bathroom situation.  If you, or your small children felt the urge come upon you, you had to satisfy that urge in one of only 5 waste management port o potty's.  There is nothing like the old outhouse on wheels, or standing in a line 45 minutes to use it, and when you finally get in it, you have picked the one where some sick, disgusting person had the balls to actually take a dump.  Could you take a dump in a chemical toilet closet, covered every square inch in piss and feces, with half of Kingsport lined up 5 feet away waiting to also go.  Myself, my rectum would close up for a good month.
    Now for a life affirming shout out about funfest.  This lady was there with an ecampment(funfest term, meaning a tarp layed out with chairs right in the way of foot traffic, and people looking pissed if you step on their tarp) of quadroplegic citizens in wheel chairs, on oxygen.  Their were 4 total.  The latin term to describe that lady is cojones majores.  Bringing people like that to be at the mercy of that little sun bastard Festivus.
    One thought that crossed my mind while enduring this chines water torture is that some people live for this, and plan their vacations for this.  For example, the Browders.  Funfest makes them downright frisky.  I believe Al was conceived during funfest 1982 or so. 
    I must now go lay down and conserve life essence.  Til the next time, may the life essence be with you.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Lets get it started

     Finally the Rob has come back to the internet.  This is my intial, well actually, first ever blog post.  I suppose it should be something really cool and clever, but I just got back from funfest, which really sucked all the cool and clever clean out of my system.  It is so bad, I think I may be starting the next week with only about 85% life essence.   That means on at least one day, I will have to half #$# my job.  Oh well so be it.  I plan on posting random thouhts, story's about happenings in the prison(so long as they do not affect national security), family stuff, things that make me angry(lots),  and many other assorted things.  I hope to be pretentious, opinionated, negative, and downright mean as much as possible, but also throw in that occasional, kooky koo, life affirming stuff(not often).  Things not to expect:  video game crap, very much music opinion(who cares, if you like it listen to it), things that I am so great at, and how great I am(everyone already knows) things about work except funny prison stories (my job is already a vampire bleeding me dry and no one else deserves to be put through it).
     If any of this sounds interesting than check back.  It's your loss if you don't and I won't lose sleep.  Please also realize that much of this is in jest, you just don't know which part.   So, til tommorrow, "run redman, run".